Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Do You Know Who Your Friends Are?

We all know how different men and women are. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus...two different planets, right? And through the diagnosis of how different we are there is always the element of how much more "feeling" and collaborative women are. Women are sensitive and need to talk things through to relate to each other. Pluses....right?

So if women are so sensitive, collaborative, thrive on talking things out, and being there for each other why is there so much nastiness and lack of respect between females? If you are a woman I'm guessing somewhere in your lifetime you have experienced clicques? Maybe it was the cheerleaders in high school, or the sorority girls in college. Or maybe it was a group of women you worked with.

Okay, so I admit it. I didn't have great self-esteem as a young girl so I used to let these things get to me. Fortunately I found ways to improve my self-esteem. But even now that I've crossed the big 50 threshold I am still taken aback by how women treat each other. So much jealousy, lack of respect, insecurities and nastiness! But the part that always intrigues me is why women feel the need to pretend to be your friend when they aren't. They can be so sweet, superficially pleasant and supportive to your face while undermining, unsupportive and talking smack behind your back.

How many women that act this way realize that their need to carry on like this is rooted in their own insecurities? Bonding with their "girls" by talking about other women (or men) makes them feel better, superior, right? C'mon!

Women that relate to others by putting them down, making fun of them, talking behind their back aren't bringing a lot of great karma in their direction. Whatever we put out there is what we get back. Remember what you focus on is what you attract!

It's a choice, but consider the alternatives. When you focus your energies, thoughts, words and actions on positive things you'll feel different. Remember the advice you heard as a kid? "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all."

If this is an area where you have room for improvement...give it a shot. Clean up your act and observe the positive things that begin to take place in your life after you eliminate this unhealthy behavior. Spend some time and energy embracing your authentic self. Then watch how much different the interaction with other women is when you are a "real" friend.

For more information on improving self-esteem visit my website http://www.lori-hanson.com/.

In peace, balance and health,

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Amen! No wonder, I always seem to have more male friends then female. Who has time for all the drama!